This week was full of tender mercies, sacred moments and spiritual insights. Some are too personal, but I do want to share these three:
* The other night we had a little time before curfew and our Homeless friend Bill is always at the bus stop around 8:30-9:30 PM, so we stopped by and he hadn't had dinner yet. We got him two hamburgers from McDonalds and dropped them by. We talked to him for a minute but had to get going so we said, "Okay, bye Bill....We Love You!" He looked down at his burger and just started crying. he said, "You're really good people. No one ever tells me they love me."
UGH SO MUCH HAPPINESS AND SADNESS IN MY HEART!
* So I woke up super glum friday for no apparent reason. I randomly got down in the dumps and my comp felt it too. I do this thing where I am in denial whenever I'm sad so my head pushes away reasons why I'm sad but my subconscience is the pits and makes me feel things. So I knew I was sad but I couldn't figure out why. After trying to write it out and pray... nothing.
After talking with Sis M... nothing.
I hate asking for blessings because.. I'm sometimes prideful, but I thought maybe God could tell me what's up more than I can figure out for myself. So we called over the Elders.
They tried to figure me out but too numb, so they laid their hands on my head and gave me a blessing.
WOW y'all, the priesthood is SO REAL.
I wish I could have locked all those words in a box in my brain to remember them forever. The Elders that came over know me pretty well. We're really good friends.
My companion knows me pretty well. We are besties.
But none of them knew anything about Josh.
In my blessing it told me that my family is okay. Wherever they may be, even in the SPIRIT WORLD. It told me that sometimes people are physically taken away from us so they can spiritually be with us always. It told me specific things about HIM and I just couldn't hold back the tears.
I've never felt so close to heaven in a blessing before. I wish I could accurately describe it. I seriously felt like God was speaking straight to me and Josh was right there.
I could see it. The priesthood is the most real and most powerful thing ever wow.
After that, I told all of them what happened with Josh and we all cried and it was a good time.
God is so so so so so good my heart can hardly handle it.
* Our temple trip was Thursday and rocked my world.
The assistants and a few of us rode up in Bertha (the stylish mission van that smells like a barn) because we
couldn't get a ride (or we may have all not really tried so we could ride up together lol). It was so fun hahaha.
The temple is so amazing. I love it so much. Typically we go in with a question to seek inspiration or what not but I really couldn't formulate an adequate question so I just tried to soak it all up.
My heart was so full throughout the whole session and we finally got to the Celestial room. I took a corner of the room away from all the missionaries and just talked to God. I told him I didn't really know what I was asking for but I needed something. I just sat there and tried to feel, something.
Ahhhh the spirit is so awesome. A flood of memories and tender times in my life flashed through my mind and my heart felt like it soaked up a truck load of love. That force is nothing I can convince myself to feel,
I know it was from God.
Soon after one of my good friends, Sister A, waved me over and we had a little chat. I knew something was up. She told me about how she just didn't feel worthy to be in the temple. Not because she had done
anything but because she felt inadequate. She said she felt that all throughout the session and then when she went through, the worker looked her in the eyes and smiled and said, "You're fine."
I told her that's how I think the end of our life will be. We will feel so inadequate to be in the presence of God but he will grab us by the hand and with a smile He will say, "You're fine."
After those words left my mouth, I felt like I got punched in the heart.
Seriously, a physical burning in the bosom. Sister A just started sobbing and I teared up.
It was REALLY neat. I LOVE THE TEMPLE SO MUCH.
Los Angeles Temple---I Love It!! |
I love you All! Happy Holidays!
Love,
Sister Dohner
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