Wow my heart hurts I am so happy. Also really flustered right now because two teachers just walked in the room and they're Well Tabernacled Spirits. Anyway, I don't even know where to start. So much has happened. Mostly I want to talk about Sunday and Tuesday.
Sunday was incredible. We had sacrament and all that fun stuff but at night we have a devotional and get to watch a movie. The devotional wrecked me. haha but in a good way. I don't remember the man's name that spoke but he was talking and then mid sentence said something like, "I don't know why but I feel inspired to play Come Come Ye Saints" (sang by the MoTab). Like I don't care who you are, that song gets ya. Then he asked a few Elders or Sisters to go up to the mic and tell what that song made them feel.... it was less Dr.Phil than it sounds. And the last Elder that stepped up spoke to my heart. Elder Davis. (one of my bff's here on the mission now) He reminds me a lot of Spencer Asay, physically, so you can get an image. He talked about how his grandpa died right before he got his mission call and how his last dying wish was to listen to Come Come Ye Saints and he slowly died and said a whole lot of other way touching things and I was holding in my tears so well but then I went up to him to tell him how much I needed that and the MTC president and his wife came up to talk to both of us, because they know me, and we all just chatted about all that hard stuff and I just started uncontrollably crying. But not like a sad cry and not a happy cry but like a.. I'm not alone cry. It was like a.. "You are so so SO blessed" kind of cry. UGH my description doesn't do it half as good as it was, but I can just tell you "All is well". Then after that we watched a talk by Elder Bednar for our "movie" and HOLY CRAP ( I'm not allowed to say that here so I'll email it) IT WAS SO GOOD. One of the 20 million parts that stood out to me was when he said something like, 'There's a special army of angels waiting to assist you on your mission'.
I am even speechless now. It was so personal to me and all I can say is I AM SO BLESSED.
K now Tuesday:
MY HOMEBOY JEFFERY R HOLLAND CAME AND SPOKE TO US. I am only here for one Tuesday devotional and I get him! Like try to tell me I'm not the luckiest person on earth. Plus I sang in the choir (yes I know, I cannot sing and yes I know I make fun of choir people) but being a part of youth choirs gets me right in the heart because you are totally emerged in the spirit. Especially when the elders sing.... ah so much love.
Speaking of that, I see so many people I know here and it makes my heart flutter. Like Elder Gray, Elder Holt, Sister Jackson, Sister King, Sister Thomas.. and lots more I can't think of right now. Oh and I probably shouldn't talk about this but I will anyway, it's so hard to not flirt with elders. You all know me. It's in my nature. So that's been a struggle. Also another random thing, I live for gym time. I make my uncoordinated companion and two other sisters come with me to play basketball and/or volleyball and yes I still go hard.
Now, my district. Hahaha.We are all sisters (Sistrict) and that never happens but it's so fun because we are just a rowdy bunch. Also no one is self righteous or preaching or stale HALLELUJAH and I didn't know this but I guess most of them lowkey were/are really considering going home. Which is sad to think about but we all just help each other out and are real to each other and it's good. My companion.. hahaha. Oh Sister V. Such a sweet soul. She's kind of really socially awkward. She's too nice and worries/rambles a lot and I think she's scared of me but we get along and she really is such a good person. I am way blessed.
Um... the food is pretty gross. I think if you stare at it long enough it will crawl off your plate but the salads aren't too shabby.
The classes and investigators KICK MY BUTT. hahah it's funny because I really am such a new missionary. ha. I was doing fine until yesterday I had a hard time. I just wish I could be perfect right now and I know it doesn't work that way. I am lacking in faith and I know that. My first day (Saturday) after a couple of hours they told me I was supposed to teach an investigator. So we go in and IT WAS SO HARD. He doesn't believe in a loving God and even if there is a God, he is playing favorites because why would a loving God let his sister get cancer and just watch as his dad abused him.... heavy stuff. We talked about agency but man, it was a slap to the face for sure. But I am really learning so much about loving people. About truly caring about them and their needs and learning that this work has nothing to do with me. It doesn't matter what I need or what I want or what I think should happen, it's all about bringing OTHERS unto Christ and doing it God's way. I'm just a mouthpiece for him.
Well I really have so much more to say and so many great things have happened but I am running out of time. Just one last HUGE THANKS:
FAM THANKS FOR THE DEAR ELDER LETTERS AND FOR THE PACKAGE
CARE KENZ KATE AND TAY THANK YOU FOR THE FLOWERS HOLY SMOKES I REALLY NEEDED THAT
SPENCE MONROE FAMILY OH MY HEAVENS YOU ARE THE SWEETEST PEOPLE THANK YOU FOR THE PACKAGE
I love you all SOOOOOOOOO much and I don't have enough time to think about you much but when I do I feel so incredibly blessed and I truly feel like I have an immortal and mortal army of angels assisting me through this.
Golly, so much love.
KEEP SENDING ME EMAILS AND LETTERS IT IS LIKE CHRISTMAS ON A MISSION. Loveeeee you.
PS pray for me.
(But like really do, don't just say you will)